Resident Evil: Capcom goofed... AGAIN!

There has been a vale of considerable sorrow building up inside of me for quite some time.

It has festered like a deep wound, vile, purulent pus seeping through like the Bay of Pigs, its scent raping my senses, every foul touch upon my sensibilities raw in their violence. I have attempted to restrain my passions, reign in my patience and demonstrate good manners. I have attempted to convince myself that it was but a mere passing notion, that I would come to reconcile my feelings... but now, it has broken, and let me warn you my dears, it will take something more considerable than a soothing balm and God's mercy to give my abyssian wrath pause.

As many of you are no doubt aware, I thought highly of Creative Assemblys' critical and financial smash Alien Isolation, so much so I wrote a review about it right here and a deeper appreciation post here. The main success of the game came from the fact that it was a tense simulation of being prey where survival was imperative and the frugal salvaging of resources were paramount to Amanda Ripley's existence on the abandoned wreck of Sevastapol Station. Every moment you waited for a hydraulic door to open felt like a neglection of duty akin to digging for your keys outside your house in the middle of a blackout. In addition to the alarmingly adaptive and unpredictable AI of the Alien and despite its faults, Alien Isolation delivered what it would actually be like to be IN a Ridley Scott-esque Alien film and it treated its players like intelligent beings all the while enforcing a constant sense of dread. Creative Assembly delivered on its promises and all of us reaped the rewards- not bad for an indie studio.

Now, if you were a big-time game company that have of late been on a serious wane, you would want this type of assistance to help boost your sales and your reputation, no?


Capcom, portrayed by Jill, disgruntled fans portrayed by Nemesis

First and foremost, I'll stand aside so you can peruse this article from Twinfinite regarding this matter just so we are all on the same page with what I have to say. Take your time, I have nowhere to be.

Here's the tale, nightingale.

All good? Savvy? Okie-doke.

Allow me to say this- I want Resident Evil to be great again. I really do. The last game that left a distinct impression on me was Resident Evil 4, which, while admittedly given to a tongue in cheek nature still placed Leon S. Kennedy in considerably dangerous situations where ammunition was not always a luxury along with a bestiary which contained some of the best monstrosities in the series.
I own Resident Evil 5 and 6 on PS3 primarily due to the serviceable multi player element which enabled me to play with my friends, and there were moments and concepts in both that at least roused my interest when not rousing my ire... however, good moments and concepts doth not what a good game maketh.

1) Capcom, what in the name of Jesus Penis were you thinking? Oh wait, to think you would require a functional cortex and the capacity to apply rational thought to actions.

As a collective, Capcom above everybody else knew Resident Evil 6 dried the cement that it
had shoveled around their feet and tossed them into the cenote to Hell. The game was a failure with a mediocre to poor reception due to the painfully (even by general Capcom standards) contrived story, faulty game mechanics and over-reliance on previous tropes the series had already one. Chainsaw-wielding lunatic? Check. Too much ammo and resources? Check. Bad Guys Wanna Take Over The World? Check. Unnecessary characters who only show up for one game? Check. Mutated end boss battle? Check. Lack of common sense? DOUBLE FUCKING CHECK.

Believe it or not Capcom, not everybody who plays your games are knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, methadone-huffing, genital-fiddling malcontents. From my personal experience, a fair few fans of the original games liked the fact they were challenging and fostered if not demanded the sparing use of firearms as the story moved on. Granted, none of REs' story lines have been Nobel Prize material, but there are limits to everything, and the last few games haven't just jumped the shark, they've pirouetted with septillion axles over a megalodon listening to Daft Punk while snorting some hard crack that would be sure to make a plumber wear a belt around his waist.

Now, granted, there is very little anybody could possibly garner from the images provided in the article above, but when you keep in consideration the insular scope of the story of Alien Isolation, you can do a lot with what is admittedly little by making the journey rather than achieving the overall result matter.

2) Not only are Capcom as a company lazy, it is also incredibly greedy, insecure and more than a little contemptuous of the poor suckers who buy their product.

Let's face it, the last game that actually shuffled close to the way the first three main installments felt was the first Resident Evil Revelations because it bothered to go back to basics- confined, isolated environment, creepy creatures, a half-way intriguing story and sense of 'Do I have enough resources to survive?'. Apart from that, the only games in the past year or so have been well-received have been the HD remasters of Resident Evil Remake and Resident Evil 0. REMASTERS. Not original games, but re-releases of previous titles that have previously enjoyed a warm welcome. Not only that, RE2 will be seeing a reinvention, which is nice and all if they do it in the way of Remake, but the fact remains, it is not a continuation of the series. Capcom aren't crafting games with the view to giving players refreshing, exciting and rewarding experiences, no, they are churning these things out to make money. They are making these games and re-releasing these titles to get your green because they want it, nothing more. Capcom have become incredibly corporate due to the fact many of the games they perceive as successful are titles such as Call Of Duty.

Now, I am not saying anything about Call of Duty and those who enjoy the title because that is not what this is about, but in RE6, Chris Redfields' campaign practically was a sister sequel to CoD just with mutated human malcontents who shot guns, hell, were it not for the fact you knew that was Chris, you'd think of him as Generic Muscle-Bound Jarhead #1. Capcom don't seem to take kindly to suggestions and compromise, especially if the ideas of another party are better than theirs. Nope, you play in Capcom's turd 'n' taint filled sandbox, you play by their rules or you get the heck out.

Running headlong into a battle like a streaker during Superbowl should not be what Resident Evil is all about. Resident Evil is about strategic survival horror. SURVIVAL. HORROR. Not playing GI Joe (or Jane) gunning down ornery biological abominations birthed from the sickness of the human mind without a consideration about how they came to be or a sense of fear upon seeing them.
When I park my butt down to play a game that boasts the moniker of 'survival horror', I want the sensation of being dis-empowered, I want to be cautious, I want to feel that sense of panic in my waters when things don't go my way, not being somebody akin to Duke Nukem.

Capcom does not earn the revenue it receives, but that apparently appears to make no difference to them. Capital is primary, everything else such as client satisfaction and creative exercise is secondary and optional.  I hate being so negative, but I can't help but envision several genuinely imaginative and sensible workers at Capcom wanting to stretch their wings for a game by delivering a cohesive collection concept and story based on the proposal delivered by Creative Assembly only to be shut down by some bone-headed corporate snot in a suit who is being blown by the office slut (that is strictly a euphemism for marketing team, just so we are clear) under the table. It's infuriatingly unfair to everybody who still gives a shit about what made the earlier games so successful but once again, do the zipper-rattling numb-nuts in charge of this digital conglomerate care? Hell no! Just allow them to roll around in their dollars like the tea-bagging swines they are and they will be utterly content.


3) The 20th Anniversary of Resident Evil is coming up and the big-time title it has announced is a rail shooter. A RAIL SHOOTER. Ruminate over that for a moment, bearing in mind it has almost been 20 years since the doors of the godforsaken Spencer Mansion opened on that dark and stormy night. That is like celebrating a centenarian's 100th birthday with a dirt cupcake. Rather than do something of considerable magnitude, Capcom want to make you feel like you are playing House of the Dead. Would you honestly pay full price out of your hard-earned dollarydoos for a game that steers you around like a car on an amusement park ride rather than allow you to explore and uncover surprises at the pace of a cautiously keen explorer in a spooky locale where you never know what is lurking around the corner?

Now that I think about it, this entire affair regarding Capcom's disregard for the bigger picture is reminding me heavily about the corporate meddling that brought about the true ruin of Sevastopol Station before the Alien even arrived in Isolation. Creative Assembly, you are far too good for the cesspit of Capcom as it is at present. Their self-sabotaging and self-serving loss is your gain- go out there and continue to demonstrate how quality survival horror is done. Capcom have had their chance and they shot themselves in the foot- an intriguing feat since their heads are up their collective anuses that they can see what they had for breakfast.

I think I need a generous serving Coumadin, a teddy bear and a pony.


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About The Popcorn Unicorn

Fallen Botticelli Angel/Elightened Eldritch/Lunatic Fringe
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